Motherhood is a wild, beautiful ride—but let’s be real, it can also feel incredibly lonely. Between endless diaper changes, middle-of-the-night wake-ups, and being the only person at family gatherings who never actually sits down to eat, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re doing it all alone. They say, “It takes a village.” And yet, in many Western cultures, moms are somehow expected to be the village, the mayor, the janitor, and the entire town council—all at the same time.
I get it. I’ve been a single mom for my son’s first six years of life. I’ve taken countless one-handed selfies because, well, there was no one else to snap the picture. I’ve treated a solo trip to the grocery store like a luxury vacation. And carrying a sleeping child from the car while sick, pregnant, or just plain exhausted? That’s next-level mom strength. The isolation of motherhood is real, but the good news is, you don’t have to stay stuck in it. There are ways to create your very own village—no magic wand required! Here are five ways to start:
1. Plug into a Church or Spiritual Community Even if you’re not religious, finding a spiritual gathering of some kind can be a game-changer. Why? Because communities built around faith and spirituality often value family, connection, and—most importantly—helping each other. Whether it’s a church, temple, meditation group, or local moms’ faith-based meetup, you’ll find people who actually want to support you. And let’s be honest, an extra set of hands to hold the baby during coffee hour? Priceless.
2. Befriend Moms in Similar Situations This is your permission slip to be super selective about your mom friends. Single mom? Find other single moms. Blended family? Seek out other blended families. Stay-at-home mom? You get the idea. The reason? When you’re in the trenches of motherhood, there’s nothing more refreshing than someone who just gets it. Single moms, for example, won’t invite you to last-minute girls’ nights or assume you can “just get a babysitter.” Instead, they’ll say, “Want to fold laundry together while the kids play?” or “Let’s swap babysitting so we can actually go on dates.” Life-giving friendships like these? Absolute gold.
3. Join a Mom-Centric Workout Group Let’s talk about a triple win: exercising, making friends, and bringing your kids along for the ride. Groups like Fit4Mom let you work out with your little ones, so you’re not stuck choosing between self-care and childcare. Bigger kids run around while you sweat it out, and you get to connect with other moms who won’t bat an eye if your toddler throws a tantrum mid-burpee. Bonus: your kids grow up seeing you prioritize your health—win-win-win!
4. Start (or Join) a Babysitting Swap Picture this: free babysitting and no awkward Venmo requests. That’s the beauty of a babysitting swap! Team up with a few trusted mom friends and take turns watching each other’s kids. You get a few hours to breathe (or binge-watch Bridgerton in peace), and the kids get built-in playdates. Everybody wins.
5. Embrace “Community Living” This one is a little outside-the-box, but hear me out: living with other moms or families can be a total game-changer. I currently live with two other single moms and their kids. We share meals, garden together, and take turns watching the little ones. Is our house messy? Absolutely. Is it lonely? Never. Whether it’s moving in with family, sharing a home with another mom, or just creating a tight-knit support network with neighbors, community living can make all the difference.
You don’t have to do it alone! The idea that moms must tough it out solo is a lie. Pick a few of these ideas, try them out, and build yourself a village. If you’re looking for even more ways to cultivate community and connection in motherhood, check out my Facebook Page for moms sharing resources, ideas and inspiration because every mom deserves a village (and a break!).
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